Me: How do you even begin to draw a virus?
John Liebler: There are databases of coordinates for viruses… and then there’s scientific software that can interpret those coordinates… and then I kill a chicken and do a dance… and there’s always black magic involved.
Me: Try this smoked gouda.
Abigail: I’m scared.
Me: Just this tiny piece.
Me: How is it?
Abigail: Well, it’s not spit-out bad.
Zachariah: You should do stand-up comedy.
David Gleba: I don’t stand up very well.
Zachariah: How about sit-down comedy?
Bryan: I know! How about lying down comedy?
It wasn’t lies. It was just bullshit. Elwood Blues
We were having some engineering difficulties getting the roller coaster cart to turn into a worm. Part of Rachel Connolly’s dream
David Gleba: You know what would be [a good career] for you?
Gleba: A wholesale distributor for extruded aluminum products.
I suppose I have weird collections. I love to collect stuff that my friends say. There are so many of my friends who, while they are not writers per se, they are great improvisers and artists in conversation. They have a way of turning a phrase or putting words together that are completely delightful.
My collection started a few years ago after visiting my friend Faith Brzostoski. I had been standing in her kitchen when I noticed a big piece of butcher paper taped to a closet door behind me. It had been written on by various people. One of the phrases that cracked me right up was, “Big Butter is watching you!” Faith was not forthcoming about who actually said that or why, but I thought the idea of writing these snippets down was cool, so I copied her.
Now I have sheets and sheets of paper that I’ve saved over the years with my friends’ wordsmithing. Other people write on them as well. As I continue to collect and share here, you will notice some artists are more prolific than others. John Liebler, his daughter Olivia Liebler, my students, my family, and David Gleba are regular contributors.
Maybe they are only fun for me because I know the people and was having an enjoyable time socializing at the moment, but I can’t resist sharing.
Here are a few treasures of late:
- Oliva: It’s in C flat, so it’s fancy.
- Rebecca Ervin: I’d be paying [taxes] on behalf of live people who are actually dead.
- Rachel: Daddy is trying to use his Frog Togg in as many politically incorrect ways as possible.
Exchange between John and Olivia Liebler while discussing how much I hate how you have to shut down in Windows 8:
John: Just make a jolly, candy-like button that does that for you.
Olivia: Hey! I want a jolly, candy-like button that makes breakfast!